We turn up outside at the gig
There's people there the crowds are big
They stop you to ask and see
If you can get them in free

Fivers in pockets they still try
" Come on we're broke " they all lie
Give you hassle make you late
" Get me in free go on mate "

Get me on the guest list
Lend me ten pee
Get me on the guest list
Go on just me
Get me on the guest list
Get me in free

Trapper fans trying their best
To make out they are our guests
They seem to think it is easy
For you to get them in free


So many questions in my head
Who is this girl in my bed?
I don't know her she's someone new
Got pissed last night but did I screw?
I, I don't know her name
I, I won't see her again
She's a one night stand
One night stand
She's a one night stand

Fast asleep she's still crashed
Go thru her pockets for her cash
So annoying with her snore
I ought to kick her on the floor

Love at first sight I don't think so
'cos I can't wait till I can go
I don't know him I don't know his name
I don't think I'll go with him again

She is lying there in the nude
But I can't remember if we screwed
So I'll do her now just to make sure
And then I'll kick her out the door


I've allways played with fire since when I was quite young
And now I've joined a gang who share my type of fun
Now schools and shops and houses are all down on our list
We are the ones responsible 'cos we are arsonists

We'll burn everything in sight
We'll even set you alight
We live for the fire and flames

We love the damage and destruction that is caused by fire
We allways stay upon the scene to watch the flames go higher
We love to watch things burning love the smell and the sound
We'll put match to anything to raze it to the ground

The cops are gonna get us that's what the papers say
But we're still lighting fires and getting clean away
But if they got me cornered they wouldn't have me anyway
'cos I'd soak myself in petrol and I'd set myself ablaze


He joins the gang as we leave the pub
We're off downtown to a niteclub
And whereas usually we'd get in
We don't tonight 'cos we're with him

We're miles from home waiting for the last bus
But when it comes it don't stop for us
We can't afford a cab and it's quite clear
This wouldn't happen if he weren't here

He's a jinx, jinx
Everything goes wrong
He's a jinx, jinx
When he string along

It's saturday night and there's parties on
But we can't get in any 'cos he's come along
So we end up walking 'round all night
If it weren't for him we'd been alright

If you want a partner for pool or darts
And you play with him you've lost before it starts
If we go to a match and he comes in
You can guarantee our team won't win


I am here but where is she?
We were supposed to meet at three
Now I'm soaking wet from the pouring rain
It looks like I've been blown out again

Altough I try it's all in vain
I've been blown out blown out again
It's not my fault I'm not to blame
I've been blown out blown out again

Been promised a lift from me mate
But he ain't arrived and it's getting late
But when he arrives the car is full
I've been blown out and I feel a fool

This curse upon me is a pain
I've been blown out blown out again
It's not my fault I'm not to blame
I've been blown out blown out again

I'm on the guest list for a gig in town
So I make a special effort of going down
But when I get there they can't find my name
It looks like I've been blown out again


Planned down to the last detail
This one job that couldn't fail
Broke in on the night before
One guard no trouble to the four

Seven million on that day
And now they're clean away
Seven million on that day
On that easter holliday

When the staff arrived at noon
They were forced to open the strong-room
Armed with guns but they weren't needed
'cos their orders all were heeded

With all that cash they go away
The coppers sick not much to say
One of Britain's biggest robberies
On easter bank holiday '83


Heard there's a party in the town
So I've got me beer and merrydown
Got me bottles and me cans
Gotta get in if I can

No invitation
But it don't stop me
No invitation
Gatecrash yer party
No invitation
But it don't stop me

Though I don't know no-one here
I'll still take yer food and drugs and beer
And as I don't live here I don't care
If I start to throw-up everywhere

Gonna screw a bird in yer bog
Gonna be sick as a dog
Gonna crash out in yer bed
'cos I'm gonna be pissed outta me head


Well it's friday night and the weekend's here
So let's start right with lots of beer
I said:" Hey gang let's hit the booze
Hey gang give me some blues "
'cos I'm gonna stay awake all night
This time some girls gonna be in that bed of mine
So let's get this weekend under way
Turn the volume up let the records play

We've all had two merry we're feeling great
So let's split this joint 'cos it's getting late
I said:" Don't Ogs bring Sue with us
Hey Ogs let's get the bus "Let's shift those pints down in the pub
Let's shift those feet down a nightclub
Just two quid and we're through the door
Making cringes down on the dancefloor

Well the music's loud the lights are low
The speed is working I'm rarin' to go
I said:" Hey girl do you wanna drink?
Hey girl don't stop to think
'cos if you're lucky and play your cards right
you can sleep with a popstar tonight "
" Well you know I fancy you like mad
So take me home Pete to your pad "

We're back at the ranch and we're in bed
But the knocking on the door's going thru my head
We said:" Hey Pete go-on right-up
Hey Pete who is that slut? "
" Well take no notice of what they say "
Legs over shoulders pumping away
" Well hard luck I'm leaving all the same "
" Well thank you lads you've done it again "


Standing at the party talking to this bloke
He said he fancied me I thought it was a joke
But when he tried to kiss me I thought it's time to hide
I'll go find the bog and myself inside

Never made it
Never made it
Never made it
To the bog in time

Later in the party with joint in hand
So pissed and proud I could hardly stand
I started to feel sick it must have been the dope
I tried to reach the bog but there wasn't much hope

Stumbled home from the party about half hour
Had trouble getting the key into the door
My bladder was full and it wouldn't wait
By the time I reached the bog it was too late